6.23.2007

flugtag.




"RED BULL FLUGTAG 2007"

Flugtag (floog-tag) n. 1. Flying Day. 2. A human powered attempt at flight.

my first nashville riverfront park event!! 80,000 people, HOT summer heat...but loads of fun with 2 of my favorite new friends here - adria & autumn!!

clarity.




well, the times they are a changin'...

i have been praying through job stuff for a couple of weeks...not feeling content where i was. and i've had a lot of questions about purpose and passion and gifting...and whether i'm in the right place. God has once again come through and provided some light on the dark places and smoothed out the next path in my journey.
i am ending my job w/ the smith's (the cafe and starting their foundation) i realized the vision for their foundation was not MY vision...and i just couldn't pour my heart, energy, and time into something i didn't have passion for. and the cafe was sucking the life out of me...i was alone and bored out of my mind...understanding my huge need to be around people!!
and God has opened the door to start next week at STARBUCKS (my dream place anyways!!) - THE busiest starbucks in the state - so i will get to be around a LOT of people, building relationships, doing what i love. and the smith's were SO gracious and understanding in letting me leave...God had totally prepared the way.

i'm still going to work part-time with african leadership/mocha club, which i am absolutely loving, and i get to use my task-oriented/administrative side with that. we had ELLIE'S RUN this morning and it was a HUGE success!! it's so rewarding being a part of the work God is doing in AFRICA...my passion to see lives and communities restored and empowered there is growing more and more.

so, i'm thankful for this bit of clarity for this next transition...and as john mayer states so well...it won't last forever..."it won't because it can't...and it's not supposed to."


I worry, I weigh three times my body
I worry, I throw my fear around
But this morning, there's a calm I can't explain
The rock candy's melted, only diamonds now remain...
By the time I recognize this moment, This moment will be gone
But I will bend the light, pretend that it somehow lingered on...
And I will wait to find, If this will last forever
And I will wait to find, If this will last forever
And I will pay no mind, That it won't and it won't because it can't
Because it just can't, It just can't
It's not supposed to...
john mayer, "clarity"

6.19.2007

firelighter.


i'm reading this book by larry crabb called "connecting" and something i read yesterday resonated with me so much. he's discussing 4 different metaphors that highlight different activities of the flesh (which ultimately get in the way of connecting...)

"city builders" [Gen 4:17] depend on own resources to make life work
"fire lighters" [Isa. 50:11] reduce life's mysteries to manageable categories of understanding with guaranteed outcomes
"wall whitewashers" [Ezek. 13:11] minimize risk to protect themselves
"well diggers" [Jer. 2:13] insist on feeling good and demand control to seek own pleasure

of course i see some of all of these in me, but first and foremost i am a firelighter. i am so ruled by a passion to explain, insisting on feeling confident in my own plans, and mystery is offensive...i want to know exactly what i must do...confusion is an enemy...uncertainty is a challenge to overcome.
--> where is my confidence...in God? or in the ability to come up with a good plan?
connecting is replaced by CONTROL...prefering instructions on what to do over an invitation to connect my heart with His and to then do whatever He reveals.

and so i think sometimes God lets us sit in the darkness...so we learn to fear HIM more than confusion...when "the lights go out"...and things fall apart...we realize we can't be right enough to make things happen as we want...instead we ask "whom do I trust?"

so even though i've had a lot of new questions arise in my life recently, i pray for that longing to always trust God...which may require a sometimes bumpy and steep path that winds through some very dark nights but eventually brings me to green pastures...and there i can lie down, in rest...guaranteed.

i've quoted this verse in my blog before, but i just love it, so i'm putting it again.
isaiah 42:16 from "the message"...
BUT I'LL TAKE THE HAND OF THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW THE WAY,
WHO CAN'T SEE WHERE THEY'RE GOING.
I'LL BE A PERSONAL GUIDE TO THEM,
DIRECTING THEM THROUGH UNKNOWN COUNTRY.
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE TO SHOW THEM WHAT ROADS TO TAKE,
MAKE SURE THEY DON'T FALL INTO THE DITCH.
THESE ARE THE THINGS I'LL BE DOING FOR THEM -
STICKING WITH THEM, NOT LEAVING THEM FOR A MINUTE.

6.12.2007

nashvegas.



yup, still loving it here in music city.

i love my condo and my fabulous roommate, brooke (in the pic). i love my church and the community i'm getting connected to. i love the city (and even the crazy tourists..haha) i love how i'm surrounded by music. and i even love my jobs...but i'm having a hard time with money.

the sermon at church sunday was on money, which i've heard talks on numerous times, and i honestly didn't even think about it... until monday, when THE source of all of my anxiety boiled down to money. i'm working 50 hour weeks right now...and still struggling to pay my bills. i had a minor freak-out that i'm working so hard, and have nothing to show for it. (honestly i thought after i got off of full-time ministry support, money would be "easier" - yah, right!)

but God reminded me yesterday that He IS providing, and i found rest in 2 cor 9:8...
"and God is able to make all grace ABOUND to you, so that in ALL things at ALL times, having ALL that you need, you will abound in every good work."
...ALL i need, ALL of the time...His grace ABOUNDS.

so i may not be striking it rich here in "nashvegas"...but i certainly have all i need.