(author's note: all links in this blog will go directly to people's twitter accounts...just because)
A.T.M.S. is a phrase i've recently coined with my friends
annie and
skip and stands for
Afraid To Miss Something. it has now become popular "twitter language" among my nashville friends when we hear of something going on (and let's face it...
something is always going on.)
i've said for a long time that my greatest fear is missing out...of knowing that something awesome is happening and i'm not present to experience it...or just the fear of not even being aware of said awesome thing and constantly being left in the dark.
[now, if you know me, you're probably thinking "marisa, seriously, your social calendar couldn't
be any more full..." and you're probably right. it's often too full. but the fear exists none-the-less.]
there's the obvious surface reason -- i'm an extravert, i love people, i don't like missing out on fun times. but it's deeper than that.
"so what's at the root of this fear, marisa?" my friend
andy asked me last week. i couldn't answer him right away, so i've been trying to do a little digging. and what i've come up with is this: a scary combination of insecurity + lies/doubt.
now i may not come across as an insecure person...but don't worry, it's there. i desperately want you to like me (and more than your other friends). i want to be the best at everything (because life is a competition, right?) and if i'm not sure that you like me or that i'm the best, then i need to be around you more and prove my awesomeness to you. then doubt creeps in when i least expect it, and he's usually accompanied by his good pal, lies. lies will pull me aside and say stuff like "marisa, if you miss out on this thing, you'll probably lose every single one of your relationships you've ever had. ever." i believe lies, doubt who i am, and that in turn feeds my insecurities.
so how do we battle these feelings and lies?
well i ended up talking with another friend,
david, tonight about this as well. we talked about how deep down, we're all afraid of the unknown. but that it's about realizing our FREEDOM. we're free to say no, we're free to miss out. (and free to
slow down i keep reminding myself) we have to speak truth to ourselves (and each other) ...and that truth will set us FREE.
the message version of matthew 6:33 tells us "don't worry about missing out."
plain and simple.
ok, God...i'll try.