
a verse i keep revisiting lately is proverbs 13:12...
"hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life."
unfortunately i spend the majority of my life consumed with the first half of the verse....hope deferred. deferred = delayed, withheld, postponed. all words that equal
not right now. aka...
waiting. {not my favorite thing} i all too easily (and often) put my hope in an expecation, a situation, a person, a possibility. and when that thing doesn't pan out like i plan/want/desire... my heart is physically sick. it seriously affects my mood, my attitude, and my spirit. and the higher and more lofty the expecation, the more painful the delay.
but on the other hand, there is nothing more sweet or more life-giving than desires and longings fulfilled. the verse calls it a
tree of life. deeply rooted in truth. standing firm in love. producing an abundance of fruit.
and God wants us to experience that.
so He is teaching me to place my hope in
truth...in the promises that
will be fulfilled. and when i find myself beginning to expect or dream about possibilities that aren't rooted there, i'm learning to loosen my grip of control and rethink where my hope lies.
easier said than done...for sure.
but the promise of a tree of life is so captivating {especially in contrast to a sick heart} that it's worth trying. it's worth pursuing. it's worth desiring.